52 things to celebrate in May

1st – May day
– Labour day
– RSS Awareness day
– Mother Goose Day

2nd – Space Day
– National Truffles Day

3rd – World Press Freedom Day
– Lumpy Rug Day

4th – National Candied Orange Peel Day

5th – National Hoagie Day
– Cinco de Mayo

6th – Beverage Day
– International No Diet Day

7th – International Tuba Day
– National Roast Leg of Lamb Day

8th -World Red Cross Day
– Have a Coke Day

9th – Lost Sock Memorial Day

10th – Clean Up Your Room Day

11th – Eat What you want day
– Twilight Zone Day

12th – Limerick Day

13th – Leprechaun Day
– Frog Jumping Day

14th – National Dance Like A Chicken Day

15th – National Chocolate Chip Day
– Straw Hat Day

16th – National Sea Monkey Day
– Wear Purple for Peace Day

17th – Telecommunication & Information Society Day
– Pack Rat Day

18th – International Museum Day
– No Dirty Dishes Day

19th – Man Ray Day

20th – Eliza Doolittle Day

21st – National Bike to Work Day

22nd – International Day for Biological Diversity
– Scratch Day

23rd – World Turtle Day

24th – National Escargot Day
– International Tiara Day

25th – National Tap Dance Day

26th – Cherry Dessert Day

27th – Sunscreen Day

28th – Amnesty International Day
– National Hamburger Day

29th – International Jazz Day
– End of the Middle Ages Day

30th – Water a Flower Day
– My Bucket’s Got a Hole in it Day

31st – National Macaroon day
– Speak in Complete Sentences Day

Sharyn vs The Baby Wipes of Doom

Baby wipes of doomWhen I was just a little kiddie of about 7 or 8, my family went on a trip to visit my Dad’s family in Victoria. On the way back, we had something to eat, and my hands got all sticky. So being a clean little tyke, I had to wipe them clean.

Wiping them on my little brother didn’t work…
He screamed: “Muuuuuuuuuuuum, Sharyn’s wiping her hands on me”.

Wiping them on the seat didn’t work…
The seats were all vinyl.

Wiping them on me….
Seemed like it would be spreading the problem rather than solving it.

Wiping them on my parents…
Just seemed like folly.

Finally, triumph filled my eyes as they landed on the baby wipes.

The brand spanking new, unopened baby wipes.

Being both an independent and technically minded child, I carefully read the instructions.
1. Remove the cover from the container – CHECK
2. Locate the first wipe in the centre of the roll of wipes – CHECK
3. Push the first wipe through the hole in the centre of the top cover – CHECK
4. Reattach the cover to the canister – CHE….

Shit!

OK, I probably didn’t say shit – I don’t think I learned how to say that until much later. But I’m certain I said my 7 or 8 year old version of “shit!” as “shit” does seem like the most appropriate word under the circumstances. And I’m sure fuck wouldn’t have sprung to mind. After all, I’m not a big ole potty mouth.

!!!!MY FINGER WAS STUCK!!!!

Pointy Bits

Sharp pointy bits waiting to trap unsuspecting users

See, when I pushed my finger through the baby wipes of doom, the pointy bits of the cover (see left) dug into the tender flesh of my pointy finger as soon as I started to remove it.

So there I was… stuck in a car, bored, slightly carsick, with a stinky brother who kept coming over to my side and the lid of a packet of baby wipes stuck firmly to my pointy finger! At that point I started screaming… And crying… And waving my permanently disfigured pointy finger (even onto my brothers side).

Eventually, mum realised her threats of spankings and “pulling over right NOW!” weren’t working and she stopped the car to see what was causing both my screaming and crying and my brothers hysterical laughter. Both of my parents tried pulling it off, they tried tugging it off and they tried putting cream on my finger to help slide it off. Nothing worked!

My father approached with a pair of scissors from his fishing kit. They were all rusty and covered with the remnants of fishy parts and wormy slime and even more horrid things. Naturally enough, at that point I really started freaking out!

Eventually, they decided to take me to the next town and see if the local ambulance or hospital could remove the baby wipes cover of doom without the loss of my finger. Although by that stage, I was reasonably resigned to the loss of the finger!

Anyways, we finally got to a hospital and approaching their emergency department we rang the bell to summon the duty staff.

OMFG!!! The entire hospital staff came running at the sound of the bell!

Apparently, it turned out there’d been a fairly nasty car accident nearby and they were waiting for the ambulance to bring in the victim/s.

Instead, they got an incredibly stressed family with a little boy who was laughing his head off and a little girl who was sniffling and snuffling resignedly as she held forth a pointy finger firmly stuck in the baby wipes cover of doom!

Naturally, the hospital staff – all on edge due to their expectations of serious crash injury victims, began laughing at me – standing there pointy finger outstretched (if you’re trying for a mental picture, think ET phoning home)… with baby wipes.

It took about 5 mins for the doctor to remove the lid, using a push pointy things up and slide manoeuvre.

I suspect they see a lot of baby wipes of doom lid injuries.

At the hospital

The kerfuffle at the hospital

I’m a social media dinosaur

My dinoselfI just realized it!

I’ve had a really hard time getting my head around twitter…. Now I’ve finally figured out why…

I simply CANNOT use text speak when I’m using a qwerty keyboard.

And I HAVE to put two spaces after a full stop. It’s not the proper end of a sentence if I don’t.

The same goes for exclamation marks, question marks and other sentence ending punctuation.

IT MUST HAVE TWO SPACES.

In fact, I do the two spaces thing in text messages as well.

No wonder I can’t keep it under 140 characters.

Colors of New England

The one thing I miss about living in the New England region, is the beautiful autumns. I’ve just been to Armidale in autumn for the first time in the 12 years since I left. I couldn’t resist taking some photos on the way down.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Woo hoo! Look, I can do a slideshow!!

52 ways to celebrate in April

1st – April Fools Day

2nd – National Peanut Butter & Jelly Day

2nd -International Children’s Book Day

2nd -World Autism Awareness Day

3rd – National Find a Rainbow Day

3rd – First mobile telephone call made

4th – International Day for Mine Awareness & Assistance in Mine Action

4th – National Repot Your Plant Day

5th – National Workplace Napping Day

6th – National Caramel Popcorn Day

6th -Tartan Day

7th – World Health Day

7th – No Housework Day

8th – DABDay (Draw A Bird Day)

8th – International Feng Shui Awareness Day

9th – Thank You School Librarian Day

10th – 100th Day of the year

11th – Barbershop Quartet Day

11th – Dandelion Day

11th – National Cheese Fondue Day

12th -Walk on Your Wildside Day

13th – New Year Starts for Cambodia, Laos & Thailand

14th – More New Year Celebrations for Bengal, Burma, Malay, Nepal, Punjab, Sinhala, Tamil & Tuluvas

14th -National Pecan Day

14th -International Moment of Laughter Day

15th – Leonardo da Vinci’s Birthday

16th – National Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day

16th – National Eggs Benedict Day

17th – National Cheeseball Day

17th – World Haemophilia Day

18th – Record Store Day

18th – World Heritage Day

19th – National Garlic Day

20th – 4/20

21st – Charlotte Bronte’s Birthday

22nd – National Jellybean Day

22nd – Earth Day

23rd – St Georges Day

23rd – World Book & Copyright Day

23rd – Global Youth Service Day.

24th – National Pigs in a Blanket Day

25th – National Zucchicini Bread Day

25th -International Noise Awareness Day

25th -ANZAC Day

25th – World Malaria Day

26th – National Pretzel Day

26th -World Intellectual Property Day

27th – Would be my 173rd birthday if we lived on Mercury

28th – World Day for Safety & Health at Work

29th – National Shrimp Scampi Day

29th -International Dance Day

30th – National Hairball Awareness Day